


to silver glass

by WhiteMizerable



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, The Lord of the Rings References, but also a hopeful one, this is a very sad story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22560922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteMizerable/pseuds/WhiteMizerable
Summary: When he was younger, someone once told Martin he was a lot like Samwise Gamgee.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	to silver glass

When he was younger, someone once told Martin he was a lot like Samwise Gamgee. It was not intended as a compliment, but Martin pretended that it was, and he never forgot it. Sam was brave, and kind, and loyal, and he was happy, in the end. Perhaps, if Martin just tried hard enough, he could reach that, too.

* * *

“Do you think there’s something after death?” Jon asks late one night, almost two weeks after their arrival at the cottage. He feels small and thin and sharp tucked up against Martin’s chest, and Martin wants nothing more than to gather him even closer and shield him against the world and all its horrors. He doesn’t want to discuss death in any way. But he can feel the weight of the question and despite the lack of compulsion, he does not want to risk ignoring it.

“I don’t know,” Martin says. It’s not quite a lie. “I mean, there’s the End and all-”

Jon shakes his head. Flyaway silver strands of hair brush against Martin’s chin. “No, I don’t- Not the End, not like that. I mean, something like- I don’t know, heaven or something.”

“I don’t know,” Martin says again. He thinks of a harbor, sunlight on the quiet sea, a sailboat gently slipping into the horizon. “Maybe. Do you?”

There is silence for a long moment, before Jon sighs, a wisp of breath against Martin’s clavicle. “I want to,” he says. “It would be nice, to believe there’s something after all this.”

Martin makes an unhappy sound. “There is,” he says, “it’s called more life. There’s going to be a lot of it, Jon, you’ll see. Jonah Magnus isn’t going to find us out here, and we’ll live out the rest of our days-” together- “in peace and quiet.”

Jon laughs and leans away to look up at him. His dark eyes catch the moonlight. “Let me guess, there will be good cows?”

“Of course,” Martin says, smiling, and leans in to kiss him.

Later, when Jon is asleep and snoring against his shoulder, Martin stares down at him and thinks hard about a future with light and laughter and no fear. He thinks about a harbor, and he thinks about catching a dark slender hand before its owner can step away.

* * *

Before the end, though, Sam loses Frodo. Martin tried not to read much into that. He was only similar to Samwise Gamgee, after all, he wasn’t the man himself. If he was brave enough, if he was kind enough, he would be able to save everyone, including the people who mattered most. If he tried hard enough, he wouldn’t lose anyone at all.

* * *

“Do you-” Jon coughs and gurgles, blood pooling out over the corners of his lips. “Do you think there’s something after death?”

“Jon,” Martin whispers. His voice breaks on the word, and his eyes are so blurry that Jon’s face looks more like splotches of color, but he cradles Jon gently, carefully, rocks him back and forth where they sit on the floor of the Archives. He had dragged Jon up here from the tunnels, did not want him to- did not want it to end down there with the body of Magnus lying broken and empty beside them.

“Martin,” Jon says softly, and reaches up with a trembling hand to wipe at Martin’s cheeks.

Martin catches that hand, and kisses it, and kisses it again. “I do,” he says, just loud enough to be heard over the sounds of the Entities shrieking and dying outside. “I do think there’s something after death, Jon. I think it- I think-” He trails off into a gasping sob.

“I’m sorry,” Jon says, and his voice is choked too, with blood and tears. “I never meant- I wanted to- I wish we could have had more time.”

“We will,” Martin says. He kisses Jon’s hand again. “We’ll meet again, Jon. This isn’t the end, I know it’s not.”

Jon smiles at him. His teeth are stained red, but his dark eyes catch the dim light. “Tell me about it? What comes after?”

“It’s a harbor,” Martin says, and smiles back even as his lips tremble. “A ship will come and wait for you, and when you get on, it’ll carry you home. The mists over the ocean will lift away, and you’ll see beautiful white shores, and a beautiful green country, and it’ll be a beautiful sunrise as you dock.”

“And you’ll be there?” Jon whispers. His eyelids are drooping, his words slurring. “Someday?”

“Someday,” Martin agrees, and kisses Jon’s hand again.

Jon manages to focus on him. “Don’t rush it,” he says. “I want- I want to hear all your new stories when you get there. I’ll wait.” He coughs, and his breath rattles and creaks. “I- I love you, Martin.”

“I love you, too,” Martin whispers. He bends down and kisses Jon, ever so soft, and he feels the final sigh of breath against his lips. He cries.

He cries.

He cries.

* * *

Later, Martin buried Jon by the ocean. He made a grave marker, rough-hewn but clear, with Jon’s name and his memory, so that he would never be a mystery. He bent down to kiss it, once, and stood to look out at the gray rain-curtain of mist on the water, and pictured the white shores somewhere out beyond it. He thought about brown feet in the sand, and a shy smile in the sunrise.

Someday.

But Martin was like Samwise Gamgee. So he turned away from the ocean and the grave, and he walked back towards the sounds of a village, where the world still needed to be rebuilt. He had strong hands, and a strong heart, and, sometimes, a strong smile, and if he tried hard enough, he could rebuild anything.

Someday, a ship would come.

For now, this was home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever write anything that isn't extremely cathartic and personal? Unlikely.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed though. Feel free to come talk to me on Tumblr at arakni666.


End file.
